Have you ever got the feeling that a friend disagreed with your ideas or actions even though they did not come right out and say so? What about a colleague beating around the bush with you? Even more impacting are the occasions when loved ones provide only glancing blows of dissatisfaction. How we communicate defines our character. If we plan to build healthy relationships directness is critical. It is wise to avoid the offerings of condemnation, in its stead reach out with true empathy to understand the reasoning of others. Only when we feel fully understood are we ready to listen to potential improvements or weaknesses in our reasoning.
Many of us encounter not only failure to reach empathy with others, but also we are faced with inferred criticism. How many times do we find ourselves thinking, "Okay, so if you won't listen to me why don't you at least come out and say precisely what is on your mind. Stop dancing around the floor with me!" Of course we rarely verbalize these thoughts, which may lead to further destructiveness. However, since it is imperative that we continue to focus on mastering the control over our own self and our own emotions we should study briefly the effects of inferred criticism. We might begin to catch our own self in the act.
It is safe to say that criticism in slight guise permeates wickedness. It is a profound attack upon the intelligence of others. To think that we might ridicule in plain sight with brief stealth upon the receiver is indeed malicious. If criticism is offered in a subtle way, inferred, and especially if it is carried out in guise what will we arouse inside the receiver when they become enlightened of the deceit? Anger. Strife. Wrath. Guise breeds the deepest of resentment. It is a low blow at our spirit and our mind. It is the form of disrespect that at first catches us off guard, while later enacts immense attacks on our ability to control our own emotions. While direct condemnation should be avoided, indirect condemnation must be eviscerated as it inflicts much deeper wounds.
Often times we can fall prey to instigating these attacks through our own tone of voice. We are particularly vulnerable when we ask questions to others regarding their ideas or behaviors. A change in the pitch of our voice can infer disbelief and condemnation. We must not disregard the effect that our tone has on others. Our tone can make the difference between a thoughtful discussion and disgraceful humiliation. Some however use these attacks on purpose. Driven by ego many seek out to take credit while attempting to save face via inference when combating team members. Inferred criticism must be removed from the realm of teamwork, as it is a cancer that sinks many well-intended ships. It is difficult to understand why inference feels safer than directness. Perhaps it is because we unconsciously know that condemning others is unpleasant and destructive.
Copyright © Robert Clinton Chedester 2012
Many of us encounter not only failure to reach empathy with others, but also we are faced with inferred criticism. How many times do we find ourselves thinking, "Okay, so if you won't listen to me why don't you at least come out and say precisely what is on your mind. Stop dancing around the floor with me!" Of course we rarely verbalize these thoughts, which may lead to further destructiveness. However, since it is imperative that we continue to focus on mastering the control over our own self and our own emotions we should study briefly the effects of inferred criticism. We might begin to catch our own self in the act.
It is safe to say that criticism in slight guise permeates wickedness. It is a profound attack upon the intelligence of others. To think that we might ridicule in plain sight with brief stealth upon the receiver is indeed malicious. If criticism is offered in a subtle way, inferred, and especially if it is carried out in guise what will we arouse inside the receiver when they become enlightened of the deceit? Anger. Strife. Wrath. Guise breeds the deepest of resentment. It is a low blow at our spirit and our mind. It is the form of disrespect that at first catches us off guard, while later enacts immense attacks on our ability to control our own emotions. While direct condemnation should be avoided, indirect condemnation must be eviscerated as it inflicts much deeper wounds.
Often times we can fall prey to instigating these attacks through our own tone of voice. We are particularly vulnerable when we ask questions to others regarding their ideas or behaviors. A change in the pitch of our voice can infer disbelief and condemnation. We must not disregard the effect that our tone has on others. Our tone can make the difference between a thoughtful discussion and disgraceful humiliation. Some however use these attacks on purpose. Driven by ego many seek out to take credit while attempting to save face via inference when combating team members. Inferred criticism must be removed from the realm of teamwork, as it is a cancer that sinks many well-intended ships. It is difficult to understand why inference feels safer than directness. Perhaps it is because we unconsciously know that condemning others is unpleasant and destructive.
Copyright © Robert Clinton Chedester 2012